Today’s question is: Why is Halloween so fun?

Today’s question is: Why can’t contractors finish their work on time?

Background: We have undergone many a project around these parts. I have found over time that contractors are very poor estimators of time. Most of them don’t seem to care if they finish late or if they never come back to do the punch list items. I’m not the only one, I have friends that wait and wait like I do for those guys to get back into our homes and fix the last 5 things that need to be taken care of in order to consider the job done. What is it with getting it done that makes it so hard to come back?

Once a few years back, I was doing a medium sized project in the house. This project included, changing out some cabinets in the kitchen, we re-did the island, removed the desk which was a constant eye sore due to the fact that I have POJ (piles of junk) issues, replacing it with a nice cabinet that looks like a hutch. It also included closing up the third floor loft (the loft was above the main staircase and was two stories, there were skylights on the roof that shined down through the loft into the stairwell) because my little turkeys had grown ever so fond of pushing items up against the railing, climbing on them and then hanging their heads over it and yelling “look mommy we’re on the third floor”. I kept getting visions of them falling to their death, so I got rid of that little hole of horror. The project also included changing out the floor and vanity in our master bathroom as well as adding bead board and crown molding and other finishing touches to the basement, where it turns out we spend a lot of time. Lastly, we replaced the front and back doors in this project.

Because this little project was going to include a little bit of work on every floor in the house I decided, along with the contractor, that we were going to need a schedule and I wanted a firm finish date. To that end, the contract, signed by the contractor and myself, included a fine of $100 per day for every day he wasn’t finished after proposed finish date. This was my way of guaranteeing he’d finish on time. I let him decide how long the job would take and we threw in a little extra padding just in case. In all the proposed amount of time was 7 weeks, which seemed like plenty.

Ironically, 7 weeks came and went quickly (well that’s not entirely true when you have no stove and 3 turkeys that only eat noodles). It was a bit painful to tell the truth. And at the end, the project was almost complete. But, not entirely.

The thing I feared the most was the small little finishes never getting complete, because the contractor would move on to a new, bigger job and never have the time to get back to those last few things. But I had my built in back up plan……the $100 a day would surely get him back to my house quickly.

Boy, was I wrong. Who would have thought?

6 months later, the job was finally complete. 6 MONTHS. Can you believe that?

Without getting into the details of what went wrong, because mostly, 4 years later, I’m still trying to figure that out, we never paid the last portion of the money we owe the contractor. I think he even owed us money if you added $100 per day up for the whole 6 months. I still can’t understand why he took so long to finished up. Maybe he thought we were kidding about the $100 a day because we are nice people? Maybe he didn’t need the money? I don’t know. All I know is when Christmas was lurking (the project started in May) and the front door was only half completed and the snow was blowing in around it I started getting mad.

He’d rarely answer the phone when I called (I even started borrowing my friends phones to call him so he wouldn’t recognize the number, smart aren’t I??). But I finally got him and he finished the work before the new year.

When the next project came up, I never called him. I couldn’t even recommend him to my friends, even though he was a great craftsman. His time management skills sucked.

Why do contractors do this to people?

Today’s question is: Why do schools/organizations feel the need to censor books?

Background: OK, the comments to last Thursdays post got me thinking. Censorship. Why is it that all these kids are allowed to watch R rated movies but they can’t read books like The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger? Is the wording really all that bad that such a classic needs to be censored from some children? Especially in light of the amount of tv and video time children get these days?

It reminds me of last January, as I was getting ready to teach my first volunteer session of Junior Great Books to a group of 1st graders at my turkeys school. If you’re not familiar with the Great Books foundation, it’s basically a program that promotes reading, thinking and the sharing of ideas of high quality literature. It promotes critical thinking and shared inquiry discussion. It’s a great program with great reading selections.

So, last January, the week before my first session, I was in NYC attending a business trip with PW and I received a call from another volunteer of the 1st grade informing me that someone complained about the material and our 1st selection was being nixed and we had to switch to another one. I remember asking her what happened. After all, we were scheduled to read The Brothers Grimm, Hansel and Gretel, what on earth could be wrong with that?? It seems as though some parent, incapable of explaining what a story or fairy/folk tale means to their child, felt their child was going to be psychologically affected by the fact that the children in the story were going to be abandoned. This parent (or perhaps it was more than one I don’t know for sure) was appalled by the selection, a story that was selected by a fabulous, well known book organization.

We skipped the selection for that first week, but I must admit to being pretty put off by it. Another parent was more than a little upset with the censorship and sent a letter to the woman in charge of the volunteer program alluding to that fact. He didn’t understand why we all had to censor our children based on one (or maybe two) parents objections. In the long run, it was decided that if the volunteers wanted to read the selection we could and if any parent had objections to it they could just not send their child that week. I read it and thoroughly enjoyed discussing with the children whether or not they actually thought this sort of thing would happen in their world. None of them did, go figure.

In a world where our turkeys are exposed to so much through the media, it amazes me that we censor them from well written literature. Why, if people let their children watch tv to no end and play violent video games, can they not read a book with a little bit of profanity and sexual content like The Catcher in the Rye?

ps. sorry about this weekend, my girlfriend was in town and we were so busy that I couldn’t think enough to post.

Today’s question is: Where do bugs go when it gets cold?

Background: Yesterday I received a phone call from my girlfriend in St. Louis. She was all giggly and excited because she had a question for me. She wanted to know where bugs go. So, this post is in honor of her. Now, I have to admit, once I heard her question I was like “yeah, where do they go?”

It’s weird because the flies will be all over the place, trying to get in the house, landing on your food and basically wreaking havoc all over and then it gets a little cold and voila, all gone. But where? Where did they go?

It’s the same thing with those pesky mosquitoes, one day here, next day all gone. Where are they?

The yellow jackets too, oh how I hate those guys. They are like swarming the place by September and then poof………..all gone.

Something must be up though, they don’t just die like I’d hope they would, because if that was the case they’d never come back. What happens to them? Inquiring minds want to know.

Today’s question is: Why, when there is a disaster at hand, do people feel the need to criticize?

Background: We’ve all heard about the terrible fires in California. Those Santa Ana winds are wreaking havoc on that poor state. As I read an article about the fires this morning I was more than a little put off by this statement:

quote:
Orange County Fire Chief Chip Prather told reporters that firefighters’ lives were threatened because too few crews were on the ground. He said a quick deployment of aircraft could have corralled a massive blaze near Irvine.
“It is an absolute fact: Had we had more air resources, we would have been able to control this fire,” he said.
end quote

Later in the article the Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, made this statement:

“Anyone that is complaining about the planes just wants to complain because there’s a bunch of nonsense,” he said. “The fact is that we could have all the planes in the world here – we have 90 aircraft here and six that we got especially from the federal government – and they can’t fly because of the wind situation.”

It sort of makes me mad that despite all the hard work put forth by many people, there is still room to criticize. So many people have lost their homes and record number of people have been evacuated. Why can’t people just leave it at that. Why do they have to take these negative comments and spray them all over the media? All it does is create hate.

Media spreading hate, now that’s a post or another day.

I have a one friend that has been evacuated and her family moved to a hotel near the Mexican boarder. They had to leave that hotel and move to another one in downtown San Diego yesterday. They have no idea if they still have a home. I’ve got my fingers crossed. I have one other friend in the area that I have yet to hear from. I hope his family is OK.

I have all the people who are evacuated and facing total destruction of their homes in my thoughts.

today’s question is: How is it that Bruce Springsteen can sound so good after all these years?

background: OK, so pw and I went to the Bruce Springsteen concert last night at the United Center. I have to tell you that it was an awesome concert. He sounded so good and so much like he did 20 years ago. His voice is timeless, and ever so good. I felt like a kid again.

That man can really jam too. Wow. Not only is he still fabulous on the harmonica he can jam like no one else on the electric guitar. Incredible. The E street band was completely on too. They were all fabulous.

In this day and age of digitally enhanced music it’s refreshing to hear one of the ‘good old boys’ in concert sounding soooo good. There is nothing like a great voice.

A note of thanks to our friends for inviting us. It certainly is a different experience to watch a concert from a skybox, with great food and drink all close at hand. It made the whole experience just that much better.

Today’s question is: Why do some families function with a ‘go to girl’?

Background: This is my family. We have a ‘go to girl’. Her name is Heather. She takes her job easily and competently, but I don’t think she really wants it. Being the ‘go to girl’ isn’t an easy job. I have to admit to being a little more than happy that I’m not the ‘go to girl’.

After yesterday’s post and Heather’s reply, I thought she may need a little recognition for taking on a job that is thankless and difficult at best. I don’t use her as much as others but, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t used her as the go to girl before. I’m not sure what it is about her that gave her this role either. Maybe it’s the way she handles things, she very rarely ever looses her top, or snaps back. She takes things in stride. She’s a good listener (even when she’s really not listening, she’s a good ‘pretend to be listener’). She’s easy to get a long with. She doesn’t appear to have many issues. She’s easy.

Much (or maybe it would be more fair of me to say all) of my family relies on her. She lives in the same town as the rest of the family (but as I’ve pointed out before, not me). They drop in to see her often. They call for help when they need it.

She is a great helper.

She gets put in the middle of family stuff a lot.

I often wonder why families don’t just tell each other what they think, instead of using the ‘go to girl’. It’s funny how we sometimes need to filter stuff through her. Maybe it’s like having a sounding board, someone to bounce stuff off. I know I have filtering issues (I forget to use my filter out loud sometimes, it’s a problem for me, one of the reasons this blog helps) and she helps me decided what to filter at times. Other times she tells me what’s wrong with what I said from a filtered perspective.

Anyway, do all families have ‘go to girls’ (or guys?)? I know a few of my friends that have pretty clear ones but I’m not sure about everyone. Anyone else have one? Tell us about him/her.

Today’s question is: Is it necessary to pay respects in person to every single person you’ve ever known and their relative or offspring when someone dies?

Background: When I was growing up my older brother and sister were friends with a brother and sister from another family. Their mom ended up splitting from their dad and getting remarried. When she remarried she had two more children, a boy that is now 20 and a girl that is 18. I’ve seen the mom once in the last 22 years and it was at my brothers birthday party last year. The mom lives in the same town as the rest of my family, which isn’t near where I live.

Long story short, the 18 year old girl (that I’ve never met in my life, but babysat for my sister’s kids 4 years ago), tragically, killed herself on Monday. I have no idea why, but my heart bleeds beyond belief for the entire family. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain and suffering that is on the road ahead of them. I know it’s going to be harder than hell.

That said, my entire family, minus me, attended the wake last night. I didn’t go because, 1. I hate wakes; 2. They live 40 minutes in the car from here in no traffic, at 5pm or 6pm on a Friday it could take much, much longer (I know, I know, that’s no excuse); 3. I hate wakes even more for any person that is less than say 60 years old; 4. I’ve never met the daughter (nor do I know their last name); 5. I hate wakes more than anything on earth, HATE THEM and 6. We had other plans and responsibilities last night.

It seems as though my whole family was at the wake at the same time and approached the grieving family. The mom took a look at my family and said, “there’s another one isn’t there?” she’s referring to me, but notably doesn’t know my name. Then she said “does she know?” I think my family was feeling a bit uncomfortable, but they told her that I did indeed, know (why they couldn’t have lied and said they forgot to tell me, like they forget to tell me everything else is beyond me.). The next question was “where is she?” My family doesn’t say anything at all that would save my ass at this point, they don’t come up with any explanation whatsoever, instead they all look to the ‘go to girl’, my sister, Heather, and I guess, hope to God she’ll come up with something. However, all that looking around took too long so the mom just says “well, it’s definitely noted that she didn’t come”.

This is where my question comes from. Are we obligated to attend the wake and/or funeral of every single person we’ve known or not known but know their relatives? Isn’t it ok to send a condolence note? I need to know. If I can’t send notes I’m going to have to start driving around the Chicagoland area a lot more in the coming years. It’s that or I’m going to have to give my family a good “colette excuse” that goes something like this “oh yes, colette knows, but she is away on a trip to Napa this weekend and couldn’t attend but she sends her condolences”. A little white lie never hurts does it? It seems to me, that little white lie would have made one mom in particular a little bit happier on one of the saddest days of her life.

Today’s question is : Why do people make right hand turns from a left lane??

Background: I saw a guy (or gal I’m not sure) make a right hand turn from the left lane the other day. Now there were two left lanes, I was in the far left and this person was in the middle, but not the right. We were traveling down Lake shore drive in Chicago and I’m not kidding you, right in front of a car, this guy makes a right from the left lane. I was shocked. Who does that?

Why do people decide at the last minute to turn right and not pay attention to that which is around them? What is wrong with people? Don’t they think? Or is it just that we are living in a me me society?

Lake Shore Drive has no left hand exits at all (that I can think of, maybe way down on the South side there’s one?). Everything is on the right. So if you’re a driver and you know you have to get off fairly soon, what the heck are you doing in any lane besides the right? Luckily no one got hit and all was fine, but it kinda made me mad watching that guy totally cut off the other guy just to make his turn.

I could probably recount at least 10 examples of this from my driving years. It always blows my mind that people pay no attention. I remember once PW got into a little fender bender because of a turner like this. It happens all the time. I wish they’d get caught and have to re-do drivers ed, that would teach them.

Today’s question is: Why would a woman want a brazilian?

Background: OK, OK, I know this is a personal choice thing and I get that everyone likes things a little different.

We’ve never had anything besides basic cable (we’re really hip, don’t you think??) and I’ve never seen Sex in the City, but I’ve heard about it. That show is where the brazilian gained it’s popularity right? I mean maybe it was popular before then, but I was too dang busy popping out babies to be on that band wagon. Now I’m too busy trying to figure out why someone would want to have that part of their body resemble a child’s.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not all for totally natural. A nice wax or shave (one finger or two) is always preferable in my opinion to simply natural, but bare? No, something about that just doesn’t work for me. And who on earth can cope with the pain associated with having that wax job? And who are the lucky people that get to give those waxes?

Yikes, that could never be me.

It must be a special breed of woman (please don’t tell me men are giving brazilians in salons, because something is very wrong with that picture) who gives the brazilian.