Today’s question is: Why is it oh so easy, for kids to believe whatever it is they want to believe?
Background: The other day my 6 year old son was getting a ride home from his friends mom. In the car they started talking about vacations. His friend (a little 5 year old)mentioned that he was going to Hawaii this summer. My little buddy said, “oh I’ve been to Hawaii”. The mom said, “oh, you have? when did you go to hawaii?” The little buddy replied ” I went when I was a twinkle in my mom’s eye.”
Upon hearing that, the mom, one of my friends, said to my little buddy “wait, were you in your mom’s tummy when you went to hawaii?” My little buddy replied “no, Daphne was in her tummy, Celeste was with grammy and I was a twinkle in my mom’s eye.”
Apparently he said it with such conviction that anyone would believe he was really there. My friend got quite a chuckle, as did I when she told me what happened.
The funny thing is that whenever one of my kids asks me where they were in whatever picture were looking at from before they were born I always have replied “you were just a twinkle in my eye then”. Who would have thought that meant my little buddy thinks he’s actually been to hawaii.
Today’s question is: Why do people ask stupid questions?
Background: When I was 19 or 20 years old I worked for my dad. He owned a White Hen Pantry, which, if you don’t know, is practically the same as a 7-11 (and actually now is a 7-11 because they’ve been bought out).
One day my dad asked me to order some ice. I was young, little unsure of myself and afraid to make a mistake so I asked:
“How do I do that?”
My dad said (as sarcastically as humanly possible): “you pick up the phone and call the ice people and tell them we need ice.”
Because I have never lived this incident down, nearly 20 years later I still hear about it at least once a year, I think it qualifies as a stupid question. I still don’t quite know what my problem was, aside from not feeling comfortable calling to order the ice. I have no idea why I asked how to do it, but I do know it had more to do with not wanting to do it than not knowing how.
In the last 20 years, I’ve definitely tried my hardest not to ask another stupid question.
20 years of not being able to live down a question is kinda undesirable.
Background: When my kids were in preschool we had a system for signing them out (they had to be accounted for so they were always signed out). There were two choices, you could do car pick up or you could wait at the playground gate to pick them up.
I almost always waited at the gate, I didn’t care for the car pick up line at all.
I’d usually get there early and wait in line (it was a loose line, you paid attention to who was there before you and waited your turn) at the gate until the teacher came over with the sign out sheet. Once you signed your child out they called him/her over and off you’d go.
One day when the teacher arrived with the sign out sheet this lady decided she was just going to cut to the front of the line. Me being me, decided to say something (notice a trend?).
I said, “excuse me, there is a line and we’re all waiting.” she replied, “oh I just wanted to get to the front of the line so my child could see me.” I replied, “what do you think the rest of us are doing here?”
She had no comment after that and retreated. I’m sure she thought I was a huge bitch. However, I’m a middle child and I’m a little overly concerned with fairness. I never understand people that can come into a situation, a situation where everyone has the same exact goal and find themselves more important than everyone else. That is a special type of entitlement, don’t you think?
Kids cutting, I can understand, but adults? Unbelievable.
Background: I’ve got a booger eating problem here. I don’t get it. If they want a salty treat why do they have to go digging for one in their nose instead of asking for a snack? I’m so sick of asking “please stop eating your boogers” it’s not even funny.
Booger eating is gross. Someone tell my kids (especially my middle girl)how yucky it is.
Maybe it’s a right of passage? Maybe everyone has to taste, and enjoy, a booger to make it through childhood? It seems if you look around, you’ll always find a booger eating kid.
or maybe some people never outgrow it. check this out….
I guess eating boogers is better than flicking them across the room at the wall, or worse yet, me.
In all seriousness, I read somewhere that it’s good for your immune system to eat boogs, could that really be true? Maybe we should all take up eating them? What do you think???
If you can stand to read a bunch of adult reasoning on the booger eating thing (I can hardly get past the first few) check out this link. If you read the yes column you’ll get a good little laugh, or you’ll want to puke. Do you eat your boogers?
Cut jalapenos in half, length-wise. With a spoon, remove the seeds and white membrane (the source of the heat; leave a little if you like things HOT). Smear softened cream cheese into each jalapeno half. Wrap jalapeno with bacon piece (1/3 slice). Secure by sticking toothpick through the middle. (At this point, you can freeze them, uncooked, in a Ziploc bag for later use.) Bake on a pan with a rack in a 375-degree oven for 20-25 minutes. You don’t want the bacon to shrink so much it starts to squeeze the jalapeno. If, after 20 minutes, the bacon doesn’t look brown enough, just turn on the broiler for a couple of minutes to finish it off. These are best when the jalapeno still has a bit of a bite to it. Serve immediately, or they’re also great at room temperature.
First, lay out a bunch of club crackers on a cookie sheet, face up. Next, sprinkle 1 heaping teaspoonful of Parmesan all over each cracker. Cut the bacon in half and then wrap a half slice around each Parmesan filled cracker, being careful to cover the entire cracker. You want it to fit snugly, but don’t stretch it too tight as you wrap. Place the wrapped yums on a baking sheet with a rack and place in a 250 degree oven for roughly 2 hours. Enjoy every last second of these babies.
INGREDIENTS 1 (8 ounce) can water chestnuts, halved 1/2 pound sliced bacon, cut in half 1/4 cup mayonnaise 1/2 cup packed light brown sugar 1/4 cup tomato-based chili sauce
DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Wrap each water chestnut with a piece of bacon. Place the rolls seam-side down in a baking dish. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 minutes, or until bacon is crisp and cooked through. Drain off the grease. In a small bowl, stir together the mayonnaise, brown sugar and chili sauce; pour over the bacon-chestnut rolls. Return to the oven and bake for another 30 minutes.
INGREDIENTS 1/2 pound sliced bacon, cut into thirds 1 (20 ounce) can pineapple chunks in juice, drained 1/2 cup packed brown sugar 1/2 cup mayonnaise 1/4 cup chili sauce
DIRECTIONS Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Wrap each chunk of pineapple with a piece of bacon and secure with toothpicks. Place in a shallow baking dish. In a small bowl, stir together the brown sugar, mayonnaise and chili sauce; pour over the bacon wrapped pineapple. Bake uncovered for 25 minutes in the preheated oven, until bacon is crispy on the edges and the sauce is bubbly. Serve warm.
PREPARATION: Preheat oven to 425 F. Place a metal baking rack inside a shallow 10 x 15-inch baking tray.
Slice each bacon strip in half lengthwise and sprinkle one side with grated Parmesan cheese. Bake 12 to 15 minutes, until bacon is cooked. Sprinkle hot bacon-wrapped bread sticks with additional Parmesan cheese. Let cool before serving.
DIRECTIONS Preheat the broiler. Slit dates. Place one almond inside each date. Wrap dates with bacon, using toothpicks to hold them together. Broil 10 minutes, or until bacon is evenly brown and crisp.
INGREDIENTS 16 large shrimp, peeled and deveined 8 slices bacon barbecue seasoning, to taste
DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C). Wrap shrimp with 1/2 slice of bacon, securing with a toothpick. Be sure and use the large shrimp–the cooking time for the shrimp and the bacon is similar. If you use medium-sized shrimp, you might want to precook the bacon a little–over cooked shrimp are tough and rubbery–and a real shame. Line a jelly roll pan with extra heavy duty foil, and place baking rack in pan. Place the shrimp on the rack, and sprinkle heavily with the barbecue seasoning, turn and sprinkle second side. Let the shrimp sit for 15 minutes. The bacon will turn from creamy white to a little opaque, and the seasonings will soak in. Cook the bacon for 10 to 15 minutes. The rack keeps the shrimp from sitting in the draining bacon fat. With a little luck, you won’t tear the foil — you can throw that away and only have to scrub the rack.
Have fun and eat more bacon. For the record, I think bacon is good for you.
HEY and what’s with all you lurkers not posting your age and month of birth?? I know you are out there, like a certain cousin who’s about to be 31 in March? Add your info, you really don’t understand how fun this is for me.
Background: Last week when I was in NYC, I had the pleasure of speaking to one of PW’s partners for an extended period of time. I found out a lot about him and his wife and it was really interesting. I know a lot more about him now, after my 20 questions, than I ever had. That conversation is what brought me to today’s blog post. I really want to know how old you all are. It may be a personal question but I can think of several more personal ones to ask. Here’s the thing, the reason this whole blog came to mind is that I’m always asking people questions. If I just meet you I’d start asking you a bunch of questions about yourself, not because I’m nosey, just because I’m interested. I love to know things about people. It makes life so much more interesting.
Today, what I really want to know is how old you all are. Come out of hiding (for you lurkers out there) and just reply anonymously with your age, throw in the month you were born too. Just to throw me a bone and make me feel happy. I love to feel happy.
I’m 38, but in March I’ll be moving on up to 39. One more year in my 30′s. I’ll make it a good one.
Today’s question is: Why would anyone let their child crash a party?
Background: This summer we were attending my middle daughters soccer party. The coach of her team reserved one of the picnic areas at the beach. There is a big public playground close to the picnic area and half the kids were playing there. My littlest guy ‘picked‘ up a little boy on the playground. The boy, an only child, is my middle daughters age, the age of all the soccer girls.
A little while into playing, my son decided to run over to the picnic area to grab a snack and the new little picked up friend followed him. The mom noticed her son ran off and I told her they were just running over to grab a snack. I vaguely know the mother.
The next thing I know it’s dinner time and my kids are all getting their plates and getting hot dogs and whatever else there is too offer. The little picked up friend is also filling his plate, under the watchful eye of his mother.
Who does that? Who lets their 7 year old kid crash a party?
None of the soccer parents said anything about it. However, after the kid helped himself to 2 helpings of dessert (I only let mine have one) and the mom thanked me for feeding her kid because, boy did that make it easier for her, and left, I made it very clear to all those soccer parents that I in no way, shape, or form invited the kid to stay.
When the mom thanked me, I just said, “well he just kind of helped himself”, so that she wouldn’t think this was anything more than her inability or unwillingness to tell her child no.
At least we all got a great big chuckle out of it.
Today’s question is: Why do people do stupid things? (that get them killed?)
Background: Every year a friend sends me a list of the Darwin awards from the previous year. The following is what she sent. Some of them are not pretty and definitely not family friendly so be prepared and enjoy the humor in some of the stupidity.
They are finally out again. In case you don’t know the Darwin’s are an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year’s winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it. And the nominees this year, in reverse order, are:
7. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. The resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.
6. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6′ 2″ tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman’s wig. It appeared that he was trying to create a schoolgirl’s uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow tube approx. 30″ long and 3″ in diameter. The tube’s other end was, for reasons unknown, inserted into his rectum and was the cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to his family…very awkward.
5. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.
4. A 22-year-old, man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. “The length of the cord that he assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,” Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was “Major trauma.”
3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate, was hospitalized.
2. Employees in a medium sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ‘bright’ by his peers.
AND THE WINNER….. (ouch….)
1. Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own “balls” in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his balls in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez’s balls in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for him, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and his balls were the weakest link. Sanchez’s balls ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course. Note: This last one wouldn’t normally count, because the idiot didn’t die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, we have allowed it.
Today’s question is: Why doesn’t the newspaper ‘boy’ even try any more?
Background: OK, does anyone get their newspaper at the door in this day and age? What happened? I’m lucky if my newspaper makes it to my front walk, much less in the vicinity of my door. Sometimes it seems as though the guy just dropped it out his car, without even giving it a little bit of a throw.
I know it’s not only me. I look and see all around me those newspapers, just a few mere inches from the street. What happened?
Why don’t they even try to make it further any more??
Is it because the true newspaper boy has gone away? Is it because the newspaper boy is now a newspaper man driving around and just throwing? Not caring where it lands?
Some days, especially when I wake to -7 degrees Fahrenheit, it would be nice if the paper could just be at the door. A bit of nostalgia wouldn’t hurt.
Today’s question is: Why would someone, on a plane, complain to a passenger that they are chewing too loud??
Background: I’ve been on quite a few planes, I’ve seen and heard a lot of things, this was a new one.
We got home from NYC yesterday, after 3 wonderful days of hanging around the city. On the trip back we were sitting next to this guy. He was nice and did what anyone on a plane should do, didn’t talk too much and didn’t need to go to the bathroom (he was on the window).
A little while into the flight he took out a bagel and started eating it while he was watching a movie. I noticed, for a moment, that I could hear him chewing. It didn’t bother me, because there were many other sounds on that plane.
The next thing I know, the lady sitting directly in front of the man chewing stuck her head over the seat and asked him to please stop making that chewing noise. She said he was chewing his gum too loud and she wanted him to stop. She was very insistent. I was shocked. I’ve never seen anyone do that before. I was chuckling too, because it was so absurd. The thing was there were babies screaming all about, the sound of a man chewing, was insignificant in comparison. (not that any of it particularly bothered me)
Don’t people have restraint? Have they no intolerance?
To her credit, before she ran off the plane, we were late and she had to make a connection, she apologized to the man. That replaced of the balance in the world, the balance she threw off by being overly picky. (I mean it’s not like he was kicking her seat, I think she needs to invest in some headphones with music if she’s going to fly.)