Friday, September 26, 2008

Friend or foe?

Today's question is:  Why do people infiltrate your life and then decide to be be mean?


Background:  When my first baby was very little I met a woman with a baby that was about the same age.  We both had girls, we lived walking distance from each other, we both didn't work, we both needed company.   It was a good match.  So I thought.....

Shortly after meeting, during some long walks I started to notice some of our differences.  My baby never cried unless she was hurt, hungry or tired while her baby cried or fussed almost always.  I was very easy going and she was a little more high strung.  None of this stuff mattered though, it never really does, differences are the spice of life.

Since my baby was 5 months older than her baby, I had already met some women with babies around the same age and we had all decided to join a music class together.  I mentioned it to my new friend and she "strong armed" her way into the class. (I kid you not, I was shocked, because I strong arm myself no where.  She literally told the lady running the class that she didn't care if it was full she was coming anyway.)   I formed a playgroup shortly after the class ended, and the new friend was all over it.  

She became a big part of my life in other ways too, like joining my monthly girls night out, coming to hang at my house a lot and going on mini trips to the zoo or where ever with me.  She was always around, and sometimes proved to be a little hard to get rid of.  Like the time my mom came over with someone for me to meet and my new friend didn't quite understand that I wanted her to leave when my mom arrived. (pissed my mom off to no end, I found out later, but it wasn't like I said, "oh my mom is coming with a woman for me to meet, stay the whole time and piss her off for me would ya?").

Slowly, over time I noticed that she started arguing with almost anything I said.  I ignored it best I could but as time went on it got worse and worse.  I had had my second baby and she was getting close to a year old and I found out I was pregnant with my third and then all hell broke loose, so to speak.  I don't know what it was exactly, I think it just was the general attitude of intolerance of anything I had to say, she was constantly mean or negative.  Finally, I asked her what the problem was.  Her reply was "something about you rubs me the wrong way and I can't be nice."   

Really?

Call me crazy, but why on earth would you force yourself into practically every aspect of someone else's life if you can't stand them?  Strange.  Painful too.

It took me a while to get over that one, have I ever mentioned that I'm a huge ass bit of a grudge holder??

2 curious comments:

wendy said...

I have had people like that in my life and yes, it hurts tremendously because I welcome them (I am so naive sometimes!). Glad to see you posting again!

erpeer said...

Mean people suck.

Sorry you had to go through that. Wish I could live that close to you! :)