Today’s question is: Why would anyone pee while riding a ferris wheel???
Background: You probably don’t even want to know why I’m asking this question, do you? Well, the thing is a few years back I brought all my kids plus a friend to this annual carnival in the town just North of us. We had been going for years, it’s always a good time. Good kids games and fun rides. This particular year it was very, very hot. I bet you it was 85 degrees (F). Anyway, I had two 6 year olds, a 5 year old and a 3 year old with me. We had been there for awhile and they all decided they wanted to ride the ferris wheel, so into the line we went.
We had been waiting for quite some time and we finally got up to the front of the line, in fact we were next up on the ride. I was dying of heat. I was sweating and seriously second guessing our decision to stand in the direct sun to get on this ride. The next thing I know, little drops of water were cascading down on me and the kids. I looked up, probably catching a few of those glorious refreshing drops in my mouth. Feeling refreshed, I said to the ride operator, “I guess that kid decided to pour water on us”. The operator looked skeptical, moved the lever and brought that car down to us and asked those boys if they just poured water out of the car.
I’ll never forget the response from one of the boys, “um, no, I peed.” Wait a minute, did I hear that right? I looked at him and I said, “you what? you peed? you mean you just peed all over us? What were you thinking? Where did you think that pee was going to go? OMG” The 4 kids and I had just been peed all over. The sad thing was that it was so hot that it had all dried and I couldn’t tell where any of it was. Needless to say we didn’t ride the ride.
I told the ticket lady (whose son was the guilty pee boy) that we needed bottles of water so I could try to get some of the pee off the kids and myself. I was trying to block the fact that I was about 110% certain that some of that pee got in my mouth. Yuck city. We high tailed it out of there shortly thereafter, showers were in our immediate future.
So, if you are standing below a ferris wheel and you feel some refreshing drops falling from above and it’s not raining, don’t look up. And don’t under any circumstances open your mouth, you’ll be sorry.
May 28, 2009 @ 10:02 pm
Today’s question is: Why do people do annoying things on the commuter train?
Background: I’m sure there are at least a hundred stories I could list here and maybe for the next few days I’ll post a couple of my favorites.
Years back, before I had children, I used to use the commuter rail to get back and forth from work. Our rail line, the Metra, is pretty nice for a commuter rail. I found the ride to be relaxing, well, most of the time anyway.
If you don’t know, there is a certain etiquette on the train.
Seriously, talking with other patrons is discouraged, especially in the morning (well loud talking that is). If you sit on the top, you aren’t supposed to put your feet on the ledge, because you might drip onto people below. Cell phone conversations are usually looked at with a raised brow (nothing like knowing the guy’s story sitting next to you because he wasn’t smart enough to be discreet). And paper shredding by hand, strictly forbidden. Not really but it should be.
One morning, as I was traveling to work on the train, I was all ready to relax on my way into work. The second I sat down, on the upper deck, the only place I like to sit, I heard a noise. Oh my goodness, there was a lady sitting across the train from me shredding a
huge ass small stack of papers, by hand. The sound was so annoying I thought I was going to lose my mind. I kept an eye on her so I could calculate when my misery would be over. At last, she was on the last piece and I was about ready to do a happy dance and enjoy the last few minutes of my ride into the city. It was then that I noticed that lady reaching into her bag to pull out more paper. God help me.
Why don’t people think?
May 26, 2009 @ 11:00 pm
Today’s question is: What’s up with the crazy parent drivers?
Background: Seriously, what’s up with people? Why on earth do they all have to drive around like they own the road? It’s painful to sit at school waiting for the kids to get out and watch a bunch of parents act super entitled to park, drop off and idle where ever they want. It’s like they do not care about the safety of any of those kids.
At our school we have a pick up/drop off line. The sole purpose of this line is to pick your child up or drop your child off. There is no parking, you keep your car running and your kid jumps in or jumps out, period. There is absolutely no exiting the car by the driver, period.
Yet everyday when I stand there with my dog, waiting for my gal pals to walk to the neighborhood java joint, countless parents break all the rules because they are oh so important. What the hell is up with people?
May 10, 2009 @ 4:26 pm