Background:  We are hanging out in greater Cincinnati this week, enjoying the town and sites as we have for the past 7 years.  Paul’s dad grew up in Cincinnati.  Paul’s Uncle Jim and 8 of his 10 kids all still live in Cincy.  We come every year to visit with our namesakes clan.

So today, we went to Coney Island Park in Cincinnati.  Last year was the first time we had ever been to this park and I have to say it was an enormous hit with the kids, they begged to go again.  So we went.  As we were playing in the pool, a woman caught my eye.  This lady had on a black bathing suit that showed a rather enormous tattoo on her left breast.  It was softball size.  Who would get a softball size tat on her breast?  I mean wouldn’t that hurt like hell?  

I’ve noticed that tattoos seem to be all the rage, but seriously all I can think of is pain, pain, pain.

Do they hurt? And if so, is the ‘beauty’ in the tat more overpowering than the pain?

Background:  This is not only a story but also a warning, a warning about what not to do.  I had the pleasure of having nice and warm weather for one day today.  It was like summer is supposed to be.  So after the kids went to their class and I allowed them sufficient time to get good and bored hanging around in the yard, I took them to the beach.  We had been there a little while and I was enjoying a great article about Twitter in Time Magazine, when I looked over at the two woman and child that arrived next to me and was, let’s just say, a little surprised at what I saw.

I sat there looking at this young-ish, rather large lady wearing a one piece bathing suit.  When she turned around, I noticed this odd oval shaped spot right down the middle of the butt area.  Upon further notice (ok I was staring but I had my big dark glasses on and it wasn’t like she was looking my way) I realized that the oval shape was really a worn out section of her bathing suit and what wasn’t immediately apparent was now screaming at me, it was her butt crack.  

That’s right, I could see her butt crack, PLAIN as DAY!  

Her butt crack, at a public beach.  Not just the top edge (that shows when ladies bend over with jeans on), that bathing suit was worn down so that you could make out most of her butt.  I was embarrassed for her but how do you tell a complete stranger that her bathing suit is worn out, completely, right at her butt crack?  You just can’t do it.  What I really want to know is why her friend didn’t tell her?  I mean, I tell people all the time that they have food in their teeth, you better believe I’d tell a friend if their ass was clear as day showing through their suit.

Because I’m me, I sat there wishing I brought my camera so I could take a picture of it, it was that unbelievable.  Once she walked down the beach I remembered I could get a pretty good picture with my blackberry.  However she never came back.   Probably better you don’t have to actually see it.  The image I painted for you should be good enough.

Do yourself a favor and make sure all your bathing suits are in good condition before you head to the beach or pool this summer.  Consider this your warning! 

Background:  My guess is if you are a woman and you like to save some cash from time to time you’ve been to TJMaxx or Marshalls.  These two retailers specifically limit their fitting room clothes intake to 8 items at a time.  Now this may not sound like a problem to some of the male readers, however, at a discount store, it’s quite common for a woman to have up to 20 items.  An 8 item limit reduces the woman (or man for those rare occasions) to re-clothe after the allowed 8 items, march them back out there to get 8 more and then do it all again to try on the remaining items.  Why oh why can’t they just have ‘try on’ tags up to 25 items and count them on the way out to make sure nothing was stolen?  Seems like a lot less work than switching out 8 items time and time again, no?

Maybe the big business people never thought of this?  Perhaps a letter is in order.  Anyone want to write it?

Background:  Seriously, is anything that important?  I mean it can’t wait until they are finished running?  

Here are the problems I see with talking (or texting for that matter) while running:

1. Those around you have to listen to your entire life story as you, ever so loudly, discuss it on your personal phone call.

2. The poor person who called you not knowing you were running now has the pleasure of listening to you huff and puff while you discuss your story.

3. not paying attention while on a treadmill could cause serious injury, which would make the likes of me feel bad for making fun of you for talking in the first place.

I think answering a call while treadmilling (my new word, what do you think?) ranks up there with answering the phone during your dinner date.

Blech to both.