Today’s question is: Why are some spoofs so incredibly funny?
Background: My husband gets some racy emails from one of his clients from time to time. A couple of months ago this baby landed in his box and I have to say I about died laughing (this is NOT appropriate for children, so please view it in private, maybe with the volume low, I wouldn’t let my kids see it).
This is an honest to goodness real product. This video was produced as you see it but the voice over adds more hilarity than I can believe.
When I first saw it I did a search because I just couldn’t believe someone really produced a product like this. Then I found the real video (feel free to view it here).
I wasn’t satisfied with what I found and searched You Tube a little bit longer and found this comical bit on Ellen:
Today’s question is: Who would walk around with a bag of frozen peas between their legs?
Background:Where’s the waving “me, me me” icon when you need it?
Seriously, today during my pilates class we began discussing how flexible I am. For those that don’t know I’m like gumby, I’m that flexible. I can still do the chinese splits (also known as the straddle splits) as a result of my ultra flexible body. When pilates was over I had to prove it. And when I was all the way down I felt my inner thigh muscle pulling. I shouldn’t have lifted my arms but I did, and when I lifted them, releasing just a little bit extra weight into my position I felt a little pop in my upper left inner thigh. I pulled a muscle.
So, after talking to my friend that is a physical therapist, I knew what I had to do. The thing is, it’s absolutely comical. Take a look:
The girls were laughing so hard we had to take a picture, just to give all of you a laugh too. Nothing like a little bag of frozen peas to make you feel better. Hopefully my muscle will be feeling better very soon.
Today’s question is: Why does the violent virus hit the family just before dad flies out of town for the week?
Background: 1am: our boy comes to our room to tell us he just puked in his bed. Understatement, he puked on every blanket on his bed, across the carpet, on his clothes and all over the bathroom. Dad, being the good dad that he is, cleaned it all up. What did I do? I don’t know, I was completely out of it, I could barely wake up. All I remember is Eamon coming in and saying he puked and then asking him how hard he was coughing (he has s touch of asthma and has a violent cough that causes him to puke frequently, I figured that’s what happened). As it turns out, it was not the cough, it was just a virus I guess.
5:30am he was back, this time he had passed gas and poop came out. He cleaned himself up but the toilet clogged and he needed a little help, because he had puked too. Poor little guy. He’s only 8. I got him and the room all cleaned up and put him back to bed. I started laundry.
He slept the better part of the day. He never puked again but he had a massive headache. He tried to take a shower once to feel better but he was too dizzy to stand. I told him he can sleep in daddy’s spot tonight, mostly because I haven’t put his bed back together.
So what do you think my chances of someone else breaking out in the pukes tonight while I sleep? My guess is this kind of virus spreads like wild fire and I’m screwed. Why does this always have to happen right when Paul leaves town. It’s just unfair! Absolutely unfair!
Today’s question is: Why do men ask stupid questions?
Background: Ok, it could also say ‘women’ but in this case I’m talking about my man. This afternoon, I took the kids to a movie and then I came home to cook jambalaya for dinner and french silk pie for dessert. I made a special dinner because my man is hopping on a plane tomorrow morning for a business trip for the week (he doesn’t travel much).
While I was in the midst of cooking, the kids had taken showers and then were watching tv in the basement. A little while after they had gone into the basement, my man asks me “what are they watching down there?” and I said “I have no idea, how would I know?”
Does he think I read minds or that I can see through walls? He must, or he’d have no other reason for asking me that question. Sometimes I really wonder about him!
Today’s question is: Is there anything better than the first year with your dog?
Background: Nope, nothing. It was one year ago today that we rescued Packer and made him part of our home. It’s been a bit of a learning curve, but he’s a definite part of our family. So, to celebrate I invited his little friends (dogs) over today and he got to have a fun playdate.
The dogs got treats
That big one says “lick me” isn’t that hilarious?
and goodie bags
And they all ran around the backyard playing and having fun
It was a great fun day for Packer.
Aside from dressing my dog up in the cold, I’ve taken a few videos of his quirks. Check them out below.
Here’s my dog being hilarious (we’ve learned some funny stuff about him this year, namely he is afraid of many things):
Here’s another one of my dog ‘guarding’ me!
It’s been a great year with our little dog. He’s about to be 3 years old and I’m hoping in the coming years I’ll have more funny stories about him to share. He’s definitely enriched our lives in ways I could never have imagined. No one, and I mean no one has ever done a happy dance for me the way he does when I walk through the door. You have to love him.
Today’s question is: Why, oh why, do people let their dog poo on the sidewalk?
Background: need I say more???
Seriously, really what the heck is wrong with people? I mean who lets their dog poo right in the middle of the side walk and just LEAVES IT?
I swear if I knew who it was I’d put it right outside his/her front door!
For the record, I completely forgot this poo was there and tonight when I took my dog for a walk I probably stepped in it. I’m going to have to check it in the morning. It just makes me so annoyed that people don’t pick up their dogs poo.
Today’s question is: What grown man still plays ‘chicken’ with his car?
Background: The other day I was driving down the road as I usually do when I have errands to run. I was on the right side approaching an area where there were a number of cars parked on the left. A car was coming toward me, on my side of the road, because of the cars on his side. There was a break in the parked cars on his side as he got close to me. What did he do? Did he pull into the open space on his side of the road and yield to oncoming traffic the way the law states? NOOOOOO, he came right for me as if he was planning to run me off the road. I had to slam on my breaks, because I figured he’d pull over to his side, like he’s supposed to do.
Apparently a game of chicken was much more fun for this guy instead of following the rules of the road.
Today’s question is: Why, upon discovering you’ve grabbed something that isn’t yours, would you toss it into the bushes?
Background: About a month, ago my little guy lost his lunch box. He brought it to school and then when he went to grab it at the end of the day it was gone. I sent him into school the next day and told him to check the lunch room and his sisters lunch bucket because the lunch box had her name on it (his original box broke). He looked and couldn’t find it. So I went in and checked every single lunch bucket in the school and the lost and found and it was nowhere to be found. I told him that someone probably accidentally took it home and it would arrive back any day. After about two weeks we gave up, it didn’t look like it was ever coming back.
Today, I had to drop something off for a little girl in second grade. One of my friends saw me in the hall and said “hey I saw daphne’s lunch box (eamon’s lost box) in the lost and found in the cafeteria.” I thanked her and said that we had been looking for it. I headed right to the cafeteria and sure enough there it was.
Fast forward 15 minutes. School is out and I’m waiting in the front hall with the lunch box for the kids. When they finally got there I say to both of them “look what I found in the cafeteria, isn’t it weird that it showed up?” To that, the custodian came over to us and told us that he had found the lunch box in the front bushes when he was putting a cover on one of the air conditioners. I was shocked. I had always thought that someone accidentally took it home.
Now I have visions of some kid, upon realizing he/she had grabbed the wrong lunch box, just tossing it into the bushes. Who does that? And boy would I kill my kid if they did that.
Today’s question is: Is it ok to pass judgement on someone that you think is doing something wrong?
Background: The real question is, am I as bad as the guy doing the deed just because I pass judgement on him?
As I’ve stated before our school seems to be filled with many parents that appear to think they (and their children) are more important than the rest of us. Of course this is my perception, and as we all know, perception is reality.
For the last couple of weeks there is this fellow who parks his vehicle in the public alley (that he does not live in) while he gets his child from school. He pulls into the alley, just past the sidewalk and puts on his ‘hazards’. I’ve seen him park there at least 10 times in the last three weeks. Interestingly enough, a block away there is plenty of legal parking. Parking that isn’t blocking people from getting into their alley or blocking the garbage man from doing his work. 1 block away.
Here’s a picture of him parked in his favorite spot one day:
So, a couple of days in the last week the guy who owns the car was actually lollygagging out in front of school for at least 10 minutes after the bell rang. He lollygagged while his car was parked like this, blocking anyone who lived there from passing by. He was not at all in a hurry to get to his car and get it out of the way. I sort of wonder what his kids think when they get in the car, do they think this is a regular parking spot? Will they grow up doing the same exact thing?
The thing is, this guy owns a restaurant in our little town and watching him park in this alley practically everyday makes me not want to patronize it. Is that wrong?
Am I as bad as him because I find what he does so not right?