Today’s question is?  Why on earth does my dog lick his butt?

Background:  I think butt licking is means to get rid of a dog.  Especially when the dog wants to ‘kiss’ you right after a big long butt lick.  Is there anything more sickening than the sound of a dog licking his butt constantly? I think not.

Lord help me.

For those of you that want to help me I am fully aware that butt licking could be an anal gland thing (as yucky as I find that whole matter I know I must deal or listen to the butt licking forever).  I will contact my vet asap to see if there is some release in order.  But I must add that there is almost nothing as gross as picking your dog up after his anal glands have been released.  His butt is slimy, wet and smelly as all get out.  Lord help me.

Today’s question is:  Why do companies wait until after your stuff was supposed to ship to tell you they are backordered?

Background:  Guess what I’m not getting before I leave for vacation next week?  My cute new bathing suits.  Now I did complain a little bit about the fact that paul insisted I get bikinis, and in all honesty, he’s the only one I’m trying to impress so I don’t know why I put up a fuss.  But I ordered some functional and cute ones.  One suit I knew wouldn’t get here until after my vacation.  Yesterday I got an email from the company saying all of them wouldn’t get here.  Not one.

I spent hours picking out the perfect suits, hours.  I picked color and style based on when they could get here and now this.  I’m back at square one and even then I may have to pay for overnight shipping to get them on time (they absolutely must be washed before I leave, yuck).  I’m so mad.  And now I get to spend my night finding myself some new suits.

Here’s what I’m not getting in time, this:

and this:

Not that I’d look like either of these babes in the same suit but still.  Venus is not currently on my good side (but I still love their suits).  Wish me luck finding something as cute!

Today’s question is:  Why when people are trying to help you do they totally confuse you?

Background:  Last night we went to this absolutely fabulous restaurant called Va Pensiero.  We had a coupon that our friends got at a benefit that offered us a bottle of procecco and appetizers for free.  When the appetizers came we told the server that I don’t eat wheat and asked which items were gluten free.  A few minutes later he came over to me and took my menu and said, “I’m giving you this menu, the x’s are the things you can’t have and the dot’s are the things you can.”

Here’s a picture of the menu:

Notice all the x’s?  Notice the dots on the x’s?  Notice all the items with neither an x or a dot?  We all laughed out heads off looking at the menu because it was really kind of confusing.  They were so nice to give me the menu but it was really comical that they only marked some things.

I ended up having the beef. It was absolutely yum city.  We had the most fabulous time there and will most definitely return.

But isn’t that menu funny?

Today’s question is: Why do people think cooking is so hard?

Background:  I have to admit to being one of the people that thought it was hard.  I clearly remember living with friends in my 20′s and eating potatoes as my main staple (that I microwaved no less).  I did not know how to cook and I did not know how to shop for things to put together.  I did not have a lot of money and so I just bought potatoes, butter and cheese and ate that most of the time.  I actually thought it was pretty cool that I could cook a potato quickly in the microwave.  I guess that played to the whole convenience food thing.  Most people want their food fast, cheap and good.  My microwave potato certainly fit the bill.

As time went on I experimented a little.  I remember during the time I was mainly eating potatoes, I started babysitting to make extra money.  I showed up at this woman’s house one day (who just so happens to be one of my really great friends today), she had a 2 year old and a baby, and in the rush of her leaving she said just make them cottage cheese pancakes for dinner, here’s the recipe, and walked out.  I think I almost started to cry.  I did not know how to make pancakes from scratch, even with a recipe.  I was sick.  But being the resourceful gal that I am, I figured it out.  To this day we laugh about that day and how I was a fish out of water in the kitchen.  Now, however, it’s a different story.

I can honestly say with the proper encouragement and drive you can make anything that a restaurant can make AND you can make it better.  I’m serious, you absolutely can, and it is not hard.  Do not let a lot of ingredients fool you (I used to avoid any recipe that included multiple ingredients like the plague), you can do it.

A few of my friends keep seeing me post recipes to my twitter account and my facebook page and keep asking me for the recipes.  So I’ve decided to start sharing them here.  Every couple of days I will share something that I’ve made.  Today it’s the vegetable soup I made the other day.  Boy oh boy was it good, really good.

Veggie Soup (adapted from an Alton Brown recipe)

3 leeks, (about 3 cups) white part only
4-5 celery chopped (about 3 cups)
4 carrots peeled and chopped (about 3 cups)
2 cloves garlic, diced
3 potatoes, chopped (about 3 cups)
3 or 4 zucchini chopped (about 3 cups)
2 cups green beans cut into bite size pieces

6 cups chopped tomatoes
5-7 kale leaves chopped
1T thyme
1T basil
1T parsley
2t dill
1T salt (kosher or sea)
1T pepper (fresh ground is best)

In a heavy pan cook leeks, celery, carrot and garlic with enough vegetable broth to cover veggies (about 1/4-1/2 cup).  Cook until veggies are soft.  Add potatoes, zucchini, green beans, vegetable broth spices and then water to taste (my broth is very thick and flavorful, I like to dilute it a little so the veggies can do some work).  Bring to a boil.  Add tomatoes and kale then cook on med (or med-low) until potatoes are tender (about 30 minutes).  Serve immediately. Enjoy!

Doesn’t that sound easy?  This makes quite a bit, enough to serve at least 8 with some leftovers.  Freezes well!